If you hate unsolicited calls from people trying to sell you stuff, this robotic app that keeps telemarketers on the phone is probably for you. It’s the ultimate troll for people who troll you by calling you home without your permission. While it’s not necessarily the employee’s fault that the company they work for makes annoying calls to them (everyone has to do a job, and unfortunately it’s a job that exists), having fun just keeping them on the phone for a while is pretty harmless. This robot app, created by Roger Anderson of The Jolly Roger Telephone Company, does just that. Using a series of pre-recorded words and conversation topics, the robot manages to keep the telemarketer on the phone. It’s harmless because the robot is super polite, and as the telemarketer in the recording below keeps pointing out, he gets paid to be on the phone anyway – so “wasting his time” isn’t really wasting time personally, just business time. It annoys him a bit, while costing the intrusive business money. Game, set: ROBOT.
The bot has a lot of non-binding phrases in the bank like “yes” and “uh huh” which kicks off the telemarketer early on. But the robot also has other stories to tell. He tells the telemarketer that he’s confused because he just woke up from a nap and the telemarketer looks like someone he knew in high school. And then there’s an elaborate story about a bee on the robot arm. Anderson is a modern hero, offering the robot free on his website – although one day he hopes to monetize it, which he is currently fundraising for on Kickstarter. You can donate to Anderson’s Kickstarter robot here. In the meantime, here are some of the funniest recorded interactions the robot has had with telemarketers:
1. The robot needs to “rise”
The telemarketer in this one is pretty annoyed, but as I mentioned he continues to stress that it’s his job and manages to keep his cool despite the robot’s talking circles around him. Unfortunately, the robot has more to say and Anderson comments, “My robot ran out of things to say and ended the call. I have since changed the code to restart the entire call, which would have been interesting to hear. “
2. The caller who is really a con artist
In this call, a different company name is assigned at the start of the call than that given later in the call by the caller. Flibuste of robots: deserved.
3. The robot is talking to another robot
In this call, the robot is greeted by another automated caller and is ultimately transferred to a human who, to be fair, doesn’t last long before annoyance begins to show up in his tone.
4. The telemarketer who can’t hang up
The telemarketer on this call cannot hang up – this is the telemarketer’s code. But he wants to. Anderson says of this one, “First, a bit of context – these guys wouldn’t stop calling me. Have you ever donated to charity out of the goodness of your heart and then they didn’t. Well, that caller was worse – I’ve never donated to this charity and they still won’t stop calling. No matter how many times I ask to be taken off the list. It’s a non-profit organization, see? Call list. See how effective it was? So while you listen, try to understand my frustration with this organization. Maybe it does a great job. work, and this guy might be a saint, but I don’t want any more calls from them. “
5. The one with the super sleuth caller
In this call, which Anderson says is extremely rare, the telemarketer finds out he’s talking to a robot. But not before accusing the robot of being “autistic”. Ouch!